One Hungry Soul

I recently partook in a quiet prayer morning at the home of a woman I deeply admire and respect. She offered us an enticing array of opportunities to connect with God and me being me, I was eager to engage with them all.

Towards the end of our time, I remembered I wanted to sit with the finger labyrinth. It was a round polished disk, carved with intricate grooves leading to a gentle centre then out again through a series of turns and curves. The idea being that you prayerfully ‘walk’ your finger in the grooves, connecting and noticing God as you would when walking in a full size labyrinth.  

I didn’t really know what to do with it, so I studied it, trying to figure out the patterns, the route – so I could know what to expect before jumping in. 

Oh Lord. I do that so often. I want to know the ins and outs of the road we are journeying on. Thank you for the reminder that I will never work it out – that all you ask of me is to take the first step and trust you for the second.

I shut my eyes and traced the crevices for a while wondering if I should be feeling something or being more spiritual about this, but I was really just noticing the new sensation of running my finger through the grooves. It felt surprisingly rough, when from first glance it looked so smooth.

Lord, you and I both know some things turn out differently to what I expected. Please help me to roll with grace through the unmet expectations that I face each day.

I started to feel like it was taking too long, so I sped up so I could get all the way around in good time. In my haste my finger jumped from the path – I lost the familiar sensation of the grooves and I could no longer differentiate groove from board.  

Lord forgive me for the times I rush you, I rush me. It just doesn’t work, and I repent.

I opened my eyes, took my best guess at where I left the path and began again. I noticed if I pushed too hard or too light, it became very difficult to feel my way along the path. Too hard, and it was tricky to know if I was still in the groove, and when I pressed too lightly I would keep accidentally jumping lanes as I lost my way easily.

Lord, your yoke is easy and your burden is light. I don’t need to push harder than you ask of me, also please remind me if I hold you too loosely. I am so grateful for your promises, I desperately want to walk your way.

I started to get the hang of the finger labyrinth, the path began to feel intuitive, easy. Then came an unexpected hairpin turn and my finger completely overshot the corner. 

Lord keep me from leaning on my own understanding. It’s not the path I want to go down.

There were times when I cautiously, hesitantly pushed my finger onwards. After calculating the shape of the board, I figured my finger must be so close to the side that falling off the edge was imminent.

Lord, I want to want to let you lead me where it feels like we are going further than logically possible. I want to see your power work in the impossible. But I’m scared.  

I started to get distracted, it was taking forever, then I found I had arrived at the center. I was glad for the reprieve and overwhelmed with the knowledge I was only halfway through.

Lord I love your rest. You offer it freely to those who are weary. Let me rest well in you, free from worry about what comes next. 

I began the journey outward, with a peaceful reassurance. It was familiar territory, I knew more what to expect. I had learned a lot on my journey inward, I journeyed with the knowledge that traveling on the board slowly and intentionally would ultimately get me where I wanted to go.

Lord, thank you for saving me, thank you for being with me thus far, I look to the future with confidence knowing you are with me.

We were called back to the group, my eyes flicked open, mildly disappointed. I understand walking the labyrinth is often a deeply spiritual experience, where Holy listening occurs. Yet here I was just mucking around with wandering thoughts in the presence of God. Maybe next time.. 🙂